A road back to a healthy body

Don't smoke kids...

There come points in a persons life, when one has to take a good, long hard look at yourself and face reality. The reality that your current lifestyle is simply unsustainable.

Be it for financial, social or health reasons, as time goes on our circumstances change. It is a reality I am facing currently.

Now for any of my friends reading, do not worry, I am not dying, not in financial trouble and neither is my country about to face civil war.
Rather I have come to face the hard truth that I have been abusing my body for far too long, and if I go on like this, I will pay a very heavy price eventually.

Let's have some background first.

The Ideal Scenario

In my late teens to early twenties, I was practically a machine. Like many a young man, I took an interest in weight lifting and other exercise. Alongside being almost hilariously innocent, having never drank alcohol, smoked or taken drugs, my body was as pure as they could come.
Combined with the fact that I lived a very carefree life, my only responsibilities being my job and a few bills, I was able to control what I ate, make intricate healthy meals, having completely cut out any deep fried or fatty foods.
(And something that my close friends will find shocking: I didn't even enjoy energy drinks!)

Back then I had my dream body, a healthy body. No exercise was out of reach, no test of endurance impossible (yes, including what probably came to your mind just now).

So what happened?

As it goes, the "descent" was slow at first.
For a start, do you know how boring such a clean way of eating can even be?
I'm surprised I kept it up for as long as I did, but eventually the cravings started happening and more and more what one might call unhealthy meals started finding their way into my rotation.

Next came a job change. While better paid, it required more hours, longer travel and a lot more physical effort than previously. So started what would become a fairly ridiculous addiction to energy drinks, alongside a reduction in the targeted exercise I was doing at home, as the exertion at the job was proving more than enough.

And for the final nail in the coffin, which seemingly sealed my fate for years to come. A very painful, disturbing and emotionally taxing breakup of a long term relationship that left me mentally devasted.
My friends and colleagues, meaning well offered me a cigarette, which started my road towards becoming a heavy, 2.5 packs a day smoker.

The "Phoney" Years

So started a period of close to 4 years, during which one might say I lost myself.
Healthy or at least moderate eating was replaced by whatever quick meals I could get my hands on, water and tea replaced by copious amounts of energy drinks, and my cigarette consumption increased to the point where each day would begin and end with buying another pack ( you can imagine how this would impact financials).

I of course knew that inherently, what I was doing was highly unhealthy and affecting me negatively. The constant stench of smoke on my body, the troubled breathing and bad sleep. But I didn't care, as one might say I was living in the moment.

Yes with confidence in fact I may say those years were some of the best of my life.
Becoming a lot more loose provided many new friends and experiences which I value to this day, and a big part of me was simply tired of being "the good boy".
Thanks I believe in a large part to my day job, which in on itself provided plenty of cardio and strength exercising just by virtue I was able to somehow even survive the abuse I put my body through.

Even those times did not last forever. With another job change came another change in circumstance. I was no longer required to spend my day doing heavy manual labour, instead sitting in front of a computer either at home or an office.
This in turn also lead to me calming down a lot, the previous wild years becoming a memory of the past rather than my daily reality.

Critically however, while those things changed, my practices did not. I was still the same cigarette and energy drink abusing maniac, now without the physical exercise provided by virtue of a job, my health degraded even more.

In what would prove to be a chance of once more changing circumstances, I eventually dropped the smoking habit for good due to pressure faced by my then partner. Even after the end of that relationship I did not return to it, simply not finding the taste for smoking anymore, so arguably at least one positive came out of it.

The current situation

So we finding ourselves in recent times, let's say from the start of this year.
The smoking habit is gone, but the rest still very much there, and my body started showing a clear message: enough is enough.

First came the stomach problems. Absolutely crushing, agonizing pains would overcome me on the regular. Holding down my meals became a problem.
Then the back pains. Towards the first two weeks of 2024, I became nearly paralyzed with neck pains that relegated me to bed, unable to even sleep, let alone enjoy any of my hobbies.
And lastly, the constant exhaustion. Between not drinking enough water, crap food and lack of movement, it really is no surprise I find myself without any energy.

I am not even 30 years old, and this is how I treat myself? My own health?
Do I really want to become just a husk of a person, constantly overcome with issues and pain of my own doing?

I understand that you might be thinking: well gee Sherlock, took you long enough to realize. Why didn't you try doing anything before?

You see I tried and failed, and while the answer is obvious in retrospect and to any outside observer now, my stupidity was layers deep.

Every few months at least over the past years I would make an attempt at making a change, and fail always, for a simple reason:
I could simply not accept I'm no longer "that guy".
I'd always go flat out, trying to lift weights and exercise as if I was still that 20 year old unspoiled machine, just hurting myself in the process and becoming deeply frustrated. I wouldn't address other issues, like my seemingly permanent dehydration, terrible dietary practices or destroyed sleeping schedule.

It took me this long to accept: slow down, it's fine.

So in the past few weeks, I have been taking it slowly.

When I wake up, I do some light exercising, using the equipment I have on hand.
I don't sweat whether I can do 10 or 50 repetitions, I just do what I can do.
I don't worry about my food, simply eating in moderation and regular intervals, introducing changes slowly.
As for my water intake? Here I played a simple trick on myself... I bought a water bottle that has some very attractive ladies displayed on it, resulting in me not needing to even remind myself to drink water.
I started reducing my energy drink intake, rather that trying to go cold turkey.
And regarding sleep, a long and slow process of introducing discipline is underway.

I'm comfortable in the fact that results will be slow to come and I may never fully realize all of my goals. What I simply want is to be healthy again.

Conclusion

What I would like to say with this entire post, the point I'd like to impart is the following:

It's okay.
Don't compare yourself to individuals whom have built their entire lives around taking care of their body, or those whose bodies are their very source of income.
Don't take articles, guidelines or other such material stating "You have to drink X and eat Y amount of Z each day or else!" too seriously. Just learn moderation, enjoy yourself when applicable.
Don't sweat it whether you are only able to do 10 pushups or 100. As long as you do more than 0 on the regular, you are fine.

Take it slow, live your life and enjoy it. Just do things in moderation and take care of yourself and everything will be fine in the end.

I shall report back in a few months of how I'm doing in this regard.